relax... relax...

Sonya called me, Mario's girlfriend and she claimed to be depressed
and that she has thought of going to London to see Mario and tell him
that she cannot live without him. I asked her if she wanted to meet
and so we did. She was really in a bad state, frankly, I barely
recognised her. She looked aged, pale, spoilt, just... depressed, as
she said she was. She cannot really accept the big change in her life
and she cannot understand what goes through Mario's head these days. I
simply told her that nothing has changed in Mario's head, he is the
usual selfish him and I told her about New York plans and so on to
give her a factual example of the way he is. He just loves exploiting
people, he was born like that sucking from a golden nipple and that
think is incontrovertible. She blamed "another woman" for the way he
is acting while I could not really tell her to use the plural as,
however, it would have looked like bitching more than supporting her.
But my silence was worse than an admission so, I really don't know if
I did well or not.

Her father has offered to send her overseas for some time to do a
course, to take a break but she doesn't want to leave because of her
voluntary job so she is stuck in Rome with the ghost of the most
selfish person she (and I) has ever met.

We will meet sometimes soon.

I called Mario trying to get hold of him but he jut doesn't pick up
his calls so I just let it go.

I cannot get over my friend's behaviour. I have not heard from her
since and I do not have any idea of where she could be while I write.
I hope that she is fine and while I am sorry I made her think that
something would have happened between us, I am relieved. I got someone
in my heart and even if this love is impossible, I will keep loving
Bonnie with all the faults and difficulties in understanding that
bloody character she has got.

I dream of her nearly every night, I gave up a good career in the
States and renounced to offers in Britain just to be close to her but
love seems to be running away from me. I would like to tell her that I
have been loving her for many years but she would laugh at me and I
risk to break a friendship. i see her changing partners so often and,
very often, i hope I were one of her partners, even if only for one
night... I know it will never happen as she takes me too much for
granted and thinks that I am just a good friend.

I wish she was here now. It's 3 pm and I am getting so bored.. I
should rest a bit... Summer is so long this year and while our
politician argue about escorts, immunities, splitting the country and
the nature kills people in Sicily helped by Italian's political class'
ineffectiveness, the heat doesn't seem to cease...

Catch later people!